The One That Got Away
by CJ the fangirl
Summary: Kurt reflects on his past relationship with Blaine while singing The One That Got Away. Songifc. Angst.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any characters mentioned in this fanfiction. I do not own Katy Perry or her song The One That Got Away. Please don't sue me.**

**Warnings: Angst. Relationship trouble/break up. Guilty!pessimistic!Kurt. **

Kurt stood at the front of the choir room. He could feel all the pairs of eyes on him, burning into his skin. His cheeks flushed pink while he wondered what his fellow Gleeks were thinking of him. Still, he managed to keep his head held high, not letting the stares get to him. He vaguely remembered raising his hand moments prior, asking Mr. Schue if he could do his assignment for Glee Club. Now here he was, nodding at the band which immediately began to play a recently popular Katy Perry tune.

No one dared to move or breathe as they all recognized the song. By now they stared, wide-eyed at Kurt as he opened his mouth to sing. Some of the girls bit their lips, knowing what to expect, while the boys sat rigid in their chairs.

_Used to steal your parent's liquor_

_and climb to the roof_

_talk about our future_

_like we had a clue_

_never planned that one day_

_I'd be losing you_

Kurt had intentionally cut out the first part of the song, seeing how it didn't make any sense and wasn't true. Well, it was true for Katy Perry...but not for him. While he sang the second stanza instead, he made sure to keep eye contact with only one person; staring into those beautiful hazel eyes brought all the memories rushing back as he poured his heart out through song.

He remembered how they really did used to steal Blaine's parent's stash of wine, and even though they never climbed onto any roofs, they still had their own special place they always went to. It was their hideout, and yes, a majority of their conversations pertained to their future.

The memories were quickly brought to the surface: They had it all. They were young and in love. They were planning on moving to New York together, living together, possibly getting married...but it wasn't like that anymore. And it was all Kurt's fault. He never pictured that he would lose Blaine, especially not in this way, yet he had.

Kurt gulped at this point, still maintaining eye contact with his ex boyfriend. He knew Blaine was trying to look indifferent, but he noticed conflicting emotions in his eyes- Blaine always did have the most expressive eyes. That didn't mean Kurt felt hopeful, of course, as he knew most of those emotions passing through Blaine were mostly anger-based, though he did detect some sadness. 'I shouldn't be doing this,' he thought. 'But I need to. I need to express how I feel through song...that's one of the reasons why we're all in Glee Club, right?'.

The boy didn't exactly know what he was trying to accomplish by doing this. He wasn't trying to win Blaine back, because no matter how much he wanted them to be together again, he knew that Blaine would never take him back. Kurt didn't blame him, either. And maybe singing this song just made things worse, but to Kurt, this was like closure. He had spent so many damn nights sobbing into his pillow, mourning over the loss of his one and only love.

_In another life_

_I would be your boy_

_we keep all our promises_

_be us against the world_

_in another life_

_I would make you stay_

_So I don't have to say that you were_

_the one that got away_

Of course, he purposely changed the pronouns of the song, but that wasn't what was important. He hated this particular stanza, because it was stupid- he was smart enough to know that you couldn't make someone stay in a place they didn't want to, and he would never force Blaine to stay with him, especially if it made him unhappy. Still, it was nice to imagine a world where they were still together, where it would just be them against everyone who tried to stop them from loving each other.

Maybe it was childish, but everyone was allowed their own fantasy, right? The chorus was so overpowering that he just wanted to close his eyes- but he didn't need to do that. The one that got away was already sitting right in front of him.

_"I'll love you forever"_

_"I'll love you always"_

_"You're the only one for me"_

_"I'll never love anyone else"_

Those were their promises. And they couldn't keep them. Because things changed. Of course they changed. Relationships didn't last. Love was a bunch of bullshit. They'd both been so stupid. But that was life, right? People came and went. Even if you loved them with all your heart, they still left. People still drifted apart. But it didn't lessen the pain. Didn't make neither Kurt nor Blaine feel any better about what happened.

God he felt so guilty. He should've done something. He should've loved Blaine more. But no, he had to be selfish and only think about himself. Blaine left him for a reason. Kurt could barely sing the next few lines as the memory of their break up replayed in his mind.

_It had been like any other Friday night. The two boys were studying in Kurt's room: final exams were coming up, after all. Yet...Blaine had seemed so distant all evening. Everytime Kurt tried to be playful or kiss the other boy, Blaine would either turn his head or pretend not to hear. It made Kurt feel frustrated._

_"Are you okay?"_

_"No"_

_"Stressed about the exams?"_

_Blaine had let out a sharp exhale and slammed his English textbook shut. "No. That's not it"_

_"Just tell me what's wrong then"_

_"You really want to know what's wrong?"_

_"Of course I do"_

_"No you dont!"_

_"Why are you yelling at me?"_

_By that time, both of them were standing up, studying forgotten. Blaine was glaring at Kurt, and Kurt glared back, not knowing what had gotten into his boyfriend._

_"What's the matter with you?"_

_"What's the- Kurt, what's the matter with __**you**__? Haven't you noticed how bad our relationship has become these past few months?"_

_Kurt faltered. What was Blaine talking about? "Honey, I think studying has stressed you out too much. There's nothing wrong with our-"_

_"YES, there is! I'm unhappy, Kurt!"_

_There. He'd said it. The words they exchanged next were less than unpleasant, but it escalated into a full-on argument soon. _

_"I'm leaving you, Kurt. I can't do this anymore- I can't be your boyfriend"._

_"Blaine! You can't- you don't mean that!"_

_"I do. You don't care about me. Let's face it- you don't need me...you just need a robot that's going to say nothing but I Love You and be your slave"_

_"That's insane! And not true! Blaine, you- you can't leave me. Please...". By now Kurt's anger was gone, replaced by an intense fear. This couldn't be happening. Blaine wasn't really leaving him. They'd make up in the morning._

_"Goodbye, Kurt"._

_"N-no! We can talk about this! Blaine, d-don't walk out that door! Oh god, please don't leave me". _

_Blaine looked at Kurt sadly; it was clear that his heart was breaking, as well, but there was no regret in his expression. Kurt was reduced to a pleading mess as tears rolled down his cheeks. Where had they gone wrong? They had been the perfect couple- hadn't they?_

Apparently not. Their relationship had been anything but perfect, and Kurt felt so guilty about it. At first he had been angry. Then sad. Then angry again. Eventually he began to think back on things, but that didn't seem to be working- he just couldn't find the flaw. Had he been too pushy? Had he not loved Blaine enough? Did...did Blaine love someone else, someone better?

The two met for coffee a week after their breakup. Blaine explained to Kurt why he left, that he had felt underappreciated, that he thought Kurt was selfish. He didn't say it in a cruel way, just matter-of-factly. He did, however, add that he didn't think Kurt needed a relationship for a very long time. Or ever. That kind of stung, but Kurt was able to understand it. Maybe he just wasn't cut out for love and dating.

Still, it was very difficult to let go. Very difficult to forget all the memories. And the hardest part was that he still loved Blaine. He had always loved Blaine. But he hadn't shown it when he needed to.

He hoped Blaine was happy now. He deserved to be happy, he was so amazing. Kurt was guilty and regretted the way he had acted, but he thought maybe it was for the best. Blaine did deserve the best, after all.

_I should've told you what you meant to me_

_whoa_

_'cause now I pay the price_

Kurt finally finished the song. He took a deep breath then uttered a quick, "Thank you". Still looking at Blaine, he said, "I'm sorry". He strode out of the Choir room, not daring to look anyone in the eye, feeling a bit embarrassed that he had actually gone through with that, had possibly been too overdramatic about the whole thing. But that was just who he was: An overdramatic person.

The boy was about to leave the school when he passed by Blaine's locker. Glancing around to check if anyone was around, he reached into his bag to pull a folded sheet of notebook paper out then quickly slipped it into Blaine's locker, through the vents in the metal door. It was the last note he would ever send to Blaine that pertained to their relationship.

Kurt smiled slowly then walked out to the parking lot. He was done there. He had done everything that could be done. Now he could move on- try to get over it. Yes, it was going to be tough, but he would try- for himself and for Blaine. He couldn't spend the rest of his life missing a boy that didn't love him anymore, it just wouldn't be right, no matter how much he still loved Blaine. It would be okay: after all, both he and Blaine had all their years ahead of them. And who knew, maybe he really would find a way to make it up to Blaine. Maybe Blaine didn't completely hate him. They could possibly be friends again.

The world wasn't ending just yet.


End file.
